I'mmmmmm back!!!!!

I find it a little bit ironic as Alanis would say and quite frankly a little bit sad that I the reason I stopped writing my blog last year was because I was so incredibly sick. And here we are again – a year later and I am sick yet again! What. The. Heck.

The good news is that this year, I could FEEL myself getting sick. The wheezing in my lungs was something I could feel and hear. So I got my butt to the Urgent Care at 8:30 on a Sunday morning, paid a ton of money and got a diagnosis lickety split: Bronchitis. Here’s your meds. Here’s your note to stay out of work for two days.

Contrast this with the seven – yes seven trips (!!!) I took to the doctor’s office to be repeatedly told it was a virus . Wait it out. Push fluids. Rest. Over and over and over. By the time I got up north to throw my mother a surprise birthday party I could barely speak, let alone breathe. I coughed constantly and as my mother (a retired nurse) kept insisting I go see a doctor, I pushed back. I told her repeatedly: It’s a VIRUS! That’s what the doctor said – seven times!!!

By the time I relented and agreed that: Yes indeed! Something was very very wrong with me. I had full blown pneumonia. Twenty four hours before the surprise party I had been planning and plotting and paying for. I told the doctor there was no rest for the wicked: The party was ON! I would keep my distance as best I could. It was a wonderful party, by the way.  

It took me several weeks before I started to feel better. I guess the lesson learned from all this is: Trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Doctors are wonderful, but not infallible human beings. You have the right to be sick and the right for a second opinion and to advocate for yourself if you feel that you, your symptoms and your illness are not being taken seriously.

All that being said: It’s no excuse for letting my blog lapse. I’m back… and I still have a ton of stuff on my mind. The savage is still curious. And lucky lucky you…. You get to read it all ;)

The Gift of Time

Today is my grandmother’s birthday. Well, it would have been if she were alive. As a child I was incredibly close with my grandmother - actually with both my grandmothers. I was blessed with two grandmothers as different as different could be, but the one whose birthday is today... well, we shared an especially close bond.

Some time in my childhood I came to realize that my grandmother would die and that meant she would leave me forever. I remember reading “The Little Match Girl” in a book she had bought for me. At the end (SPOILER ALERT!) the Little Match girl dies and joins her grandmother in heaven. I remember reading the last part of the story over and over again getting increasingly upset each time. When my grandmother found me I was hysterical, begging her not to die – to please please please don’t ever leave me.

I can’t imagine how she felt; having a child she loved so dearly begging her that time and many more times to come not to die – to please don’t leave me. She tried to calm and console me. She told me she would do the best she could. But she never promised me something she knew should would not, despite my pleading and her desire could not possibly do.

My grandmother was a tiny little thing about 100 pounds soaking wet. She was tiny and delicate and feminine and always immaculately put together. Despite her small stature she was an incredibly strong woman; she always made me feel safe despite living in what we would now politely call “a rough neighborhood”. It’s a miracle that nothing bad ever happened to her – despite being mugged several times and her home being broken into.

To say she adored me was an understatement. She spoiled the living crap out of me. My every whim and desire fulfilled no matter how ridiculous the request. Eat a whole can of black olives? Sure! Drink a gallon of Kool Aid? Why not! Eat granulated sugar with a soup spoon? Yup! That uber-expensive Barbie toy? Well – you get the drift.

I knew that stuff was wrong – wrong of me to ask and wrong that she indulged me, but that wasn’t why I love her so much. What she gave me was beyond measure: she gave me her time. She was always a willing Prince to my Princess, to push me on the swing or just play in general. She ALWAYS had time for me. All these years later after all that she has given me, what I cherish the most is the wealth of memories of the time we shared.

I miss you grandma. Even today, the thought of you and losing you still brings me to tears. I know as much as you loved and spoiled me, you would have loved and spoiled my Little Princess even more. I’d like to think that you watch over us and that you are proud of me and of the job I am doing raising my little girl.

I miss you I miss you I miss you…today and always.

Best. Day. Ever.

           It was a bit dubious this morning if our plans for the day would come to fruition as my Little Princess was yet again under the weather. But some TLC, meds and a Daddy breakfast of a butter/syrup/whip cream covered waffle did the trick and off we went for the Hendersonville Christmas Parade.

            My mommy friend Kaye roped me into going to our 1^st parade there 3 years ago. I would have never gone on my own, but Kaye was always the one scoping newspapers for family fun things to do that were free and off we went on a frigid December day. The parade was long but it was so much fun seeing my Little Princess and her friend delight in the sights and sounds of her 1^st parade, I was warmed right down to my three socked toes! Then we all headed to ACE Hardware to have our photo with Santa.  LP liked the “idea” of Santa but didn’t want him holding her.  Thankfully Kaye was quick with her camera and snapped the infamous “crying on Santa’s lap photo”  - a favorite of everyone who has seen it.

            Kaye moved (:( major unhappy face) and last year my mommy friend Jane and I took our tots to the parade. Armed with what I learned the year before, we brought a wagon and loads of blankets. It wasn’t as cold as the year before thankfully! Daddy joined us he got to see firsthand how much fun it is seeing the kids enjoy themselves. We headed on down to the ACE Hardware store again and had our photos taken with Santa. Daddy had to sit pretty darn close to Santa so LP would not scream her brains out. (We were able to crop him out of the pic ;)

            This year we were blessed with amazing weather and LP waved til her hands were tired and shouted “Merry Christmas!” to every float that went by. We missed having Jane there – she also moved. (what is it with all my mommy friends moving?) And when her time came at ACE Hardware, LP was all business. Climbed right on into Santa’s sleigh and sat in his lap with nary a scream nor a tear!

            We came home, all exhausted from our day and climbed wearily into our bed for a nap. I put on one of my favorite mommy blogs “Pluckymomo”  http://www.pluckymomo.com/ who changed her super cool music selection to and even more super cool fantastic holiday music!!! We all snuggled together and warmed our hands in Daddy’s hoody pocket (LP’s idea) and I lay there thinking as I drifted to sleep:

Life is good. We are blessed. Best. Day. Ever.

Peanut Butter Pie for MIkey

OK. So I am really new at this; I hope all the links etc. work.
I wanted to share this with all of you because it really hit home for me.
I stumbled upon the blog: http://www.injennieskitchen.com quite by accident while on another blog I like a lot (more on that one later).
What started as curiosity about Peanut Butter Pie left me in tears.
It all starts in August 2011: http://www.injennieskitchen.com/2011/08/index.html
Blogger/chef Jennie Perillo lost her husband Mike to a sudden heart attack. They were married for 18 years  and have two children. Mike loved Creamy Peanut Butter Pie and Jennie asked that folks make Mike's favorite pie to honor those we love.

You may also want to check out this incredible video (it's about 3 minutes long):
http://vimeo.com/27654447
It also leaves me in tears.
Gonna make Peanut Butter Pie ? Me too.

I am THANKFUL

I am THANKFUL for my house.

            Money pit though it may be, it keeps my family safe from the elements. I know we are fortunate; there are many other families who do not have a roof over their heads.

I am THANKFUL for the health of my family & pets.

            Although I feel as if we have spent a fortune on doctors for the creatures great and small in our house, I know we are blessed to be in (relatively) good health.

I am THANKFUL for my family.

            Although there are days they drive me to the brink of insanity (you know who you are) my life is so much richer and fuller because of them.

I am THANKFUL for my friends.

            There are friends I have had for decades and some new friends. They see me for who am… and I’ll be damned – they ALL seem to like me anyway! They have helped me through many a crisis and make me laugh and brighten my day. I hope I do the same for them.

I love being able to reflect on these friendships (old and new) to remind me of where I came from, how far I’ve come and love how they push me to continue to grow and inspire me to chase my dreams.

I am THANKFUL for my mother.

She once gave me a gift that read, ”All that I am and all that I will be I owe to my mother.” It is to her I bow in reverence for all that she has done for and given me and for the amazing example she set. Nothing makes me happier than when she tells me I am a good mom.

Sometimes I can be whiny and I complain… A LOT. Then I turn on the news or read a newspaper or talk to a friend and get slapped back to reality. I am a very lucky woman.

 A very THANKFUL woman.

What's in a name?

Well, if you want to start a blog in this day and age - EVERYTHING!!! I think when you hear people say, "All of the good ones are taken!" they think you are referring to men. They aren't. They are referring to BLOG NAMES!!!  Now after months and months of searching and Googling and finding every single name that I could come up with taken - TADA!!! Thank you "Florence" for the inspiration.
Let the blogging begin!